Highs and lows and Sandy Hook.

I was half awake in the night yesterday, and heard odd noises, and the cat half reacted, and I dreamily half asleep thought, ‘was that something I should worry about?’

It wasn’t, whatever it was, if it even was a thing, a thing worth worrying about. Which is great, because I love my wee house, and my kits, and our comfortable existence. But I am so aware, too aware perhaps, that a single thing, be it fire, flood or theft, could wipe it out.

So I sit, surrounded by books, wondering where my cats are but knowing they are in the flat somewhere and happy, enjoying the scent of my Christmas tree, planning to watch cable TV and visit friends in America. I take another sip of wine, and I absolutely appreciate how lucky I am.

And I don’t really know how this segues, but… the other thoughts on my mind today are:

I’ve been reminded that it was 24 years ago today that Pan Am Flight 103 was brought down over Lockerbie. I was just 16 at the time, so my memory is shaky at best. I knew something awful had happened and it had happened in the UK, but it took moving to Scotland to appreciate the immediacy of the disaster. An ex-colleague of my age can recount how her father, as a local doctor, ran to the scene without her knowing why. And then countless police cars and ambulances sped past her house. I can’t even imagine what the local impact must have been, and continues to be. And then in the past few days the new Government in Libya say they will release more information. How must that feel?

And then of course, today we are a week out from the death of 20 children and 6 teachers at Sandy Hook Elementary, Newtown. They are being thrown headlong into tragedy, and funerals, in the period between Thanksgiving and Christmas. And who know what future revelations await. But Sandy Hook has the chance to have a positive impact as well as the ongoing sadness that we all will feel year in year out. And it inspires me that in a week, this video and website have appeared. I know how hard it is to get celebrities to announce for your cause, and how much time it takes to pull a professional clip together. So I applaud the people behind this video, and I urge anyone who can to do whatever they can to make the ‘demand a plan’ plan work.

Because if there’s one thing I don’t worry about in the middle of the night, it’s being shot.

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